Tuesday, May 5, 2009

OBE

Out of Body Experience

About a week ago I had as the title says, an out of body experience. This was the first time I ever experienced one to this extent. Here's how it goes, so last week I took a nap during the late evening. As I started to doze off into rest, I felt something a real.. strange something maybe like a concentration of whatever that something was..I just went with it and faded deeper into rest. All of a sudden I started to feel like I was floating very lightly up still in a horizontal position no more then lets say a foot above where my body was resting. To make things clear I have had this before, but it always ended right there... I would get fear then ether wake up or just sleep. This time I went with it, I was in a very calm mood.

The Experience: As I started to slowly lift up I became very aware that I could control it by thinking where I wanted to go, it took some time to get the feel for it and in the end I got it! Oh How I got it... I was able to feel the walls of my room, the texture and temperature of the walls. It was very eerie now that I think about it though at the time it all seemed so normal. Then I went through the wall to go outside, I just simply went through the wall. I noticed a man at my front door, I knew him from when I was a child but have never seen him since then, strange he would show up after so many years... My papa came out, they where having a conversation though I couldn't see what they where saying I could see big smiles on their faces, mind you I was floating in the air observing this conversation take place. This was just so delightful. I suddenly realized "hey, I'm in bed sleeping...what am I...what am I doing here..." .............. I woke up ....... damn ... then back to sleep

Aftermath: I decided to be mindful about this and thought well lets see, I went to bed around 7:30pm give or take 10 minutes and I woke up around 9:00pm, my dad was home so I asked "Dad what did you do today" he said "nothing, I've been here all day." I was just about to forget about everything when I asked "say, umm dad did anyone come to see you today?" He said "Ah Si, El Chabilan" Which is the nickname of the guy I saw at my front door!!!! Thinking to myself fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuuuck, this shit is crazy. No way no way no fucking way..... Stunned and just standing there like an idiot my papa ask me whats wrong, I just walk away from the living room and went to my room to think things over.

No way I can prove this, I don't even know why I'm writing about it but maybe because it was profound to me, this could be real. I don't want to fool myself, I didn't even tell my friends or fam. I have read a book about this, and I'm wondering if it influenced me in a way.

I truly believe this was real. The unshakable foundation of my being logical and rational about this, in trying to find out all the ways to explain this I found only one answer This Was Real. For what its worth I want to remember this experience. gp

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Cocktail Please

Channel surfing I always find myself tuning onto TCM (Turner Classic Movies) at least once a week. It makes me think how nice being a bachelor in the 1960's would be.

Now, I've always been a beer drinking jean wearing man myself but, now I feel like being the clean cut sharp dressing man. Offering a sexy well dressed woman a seat then asking “Excuse me miss, would you like a cocktail.” I mean wow, the little stories I play in my head. Lets continue.... beside the bar in the den watching the young lady enjoying her drink, I stare mindlessly into my glass, poring a dash of scotch.

Time for me to buy a suit, playing the part in becoming a playboy.
Playboy (plā'boi') - One who is of comfortable means. A man who is devoted to the pursuit of pleasurable activities.

Just kidding, that just ain't me.....
Though I still have the attitude and dress of a cool cat. gp

Balance

Regenerating balance

Things are falling into place in these past three or so days. I'm not doing anything too important, just going through the mindless tuning in and out of every day. Somehow positive things are just coming to me regardless whether I want them. Like any logical person good things are always welcome. Having more initiative to look and bring positives in my direction, I hope to keep this
"regenerating of balance" with myself and the people around me.

I'll keep seeking these Positives & fade away the not so good. gp

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Money or lack there of

My ends are getting low, though I do have money I can't touch it, do to a promise I made to myself. Sacrificing in order for the greater good. Trying to stay true with my ideals for the upcoming futures. Being optimistic is difficult when money gets low, finding out I couldn't do things the way I wanted or planed, but its cool....for the most part a window opens when a door is closed. Not letting setbacks faze me, I keep my head up,eyes low with a 40 in hand, sippin' on that shit looking forward to better days. gp

Nothing but love peoples, and peace....

Sunday, April 12, 2009

(SPL)

supernumerary phantom limb

A 64 year old woman(confirmed by doctors in the neurophysiology laboratory) has a phantom limb. She happens to have a pale milky-white and translucent third arm. She can move it see it and feel it. She can even feel objects, the most useful thing she uses the arm for is scratching her face if she has an itch.

This brings me to why I brought this up. How cool would it be to have an extra phantom private region. haha I could play with it all day and know one would be non the wiser.

Quickness

Its been awhile

Thoughts buzzing through my mind like bees...

Too many wrongs today. Why can't I see? I'm always too quick to say I'm sorry, I hate that about me. I need to try and be more aware of my wrong doings, as in: Not doing the wrong thing, not needing to say sorry.

Emanuel sorry I punched you.
Lulu sorry I stood you up.
Mama I will send the Teddy.

No excuses, just sincerely sorry.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Uncomfortable Morning

Ahhh, this morning sucked

I left all my windows open the night before so my room was freezing. Overly blanketed myself to the point of sweat all over myself. Finding no socks near me or shoes on a cold cold hardwood floor. Removed the blankets, covered in sweat mixing with the F-ing cold room air, ahhhhh then touching the floor with damp feet, paper sticking to my foot, hitting my leg on a speaker, tripping over some shorts on the floor. I thought ok,ok, calm down. I got the things I needed for my shower a towel,tooth brush, the rest just left on the bed, clothes and such. What the FUCK! someone beat me to the shower. So fuck it, no time... changing and getting ready feeling like fermented shit. I bucked up, saw I had enough time to eat some food, ate quickly ran out the door ran two blocks and What the fuck! Why! Why today of all days! I missed the bus.

I mean, I woke up on the right side of the bed.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Clean Fog

Feeling good

Today I flaked out from going to work needing to be alone with my thoughts, or wanting to maybe... what ever I told my mind to convince myself to stay home.

I woke up in a good mood, everything being silent. Putting on my favorite jeans and a thin white T shirt. I went outside to my yard to find a cool clean fog, it was such a good feeling, almost tasting the water in the air, my lungs felt cool from the cold fog. My body in such comfort not knowing what to do other then lay down on my bench and look straight up at the fog covered sky. Getting lost in thinking about nothing, maybe with a slight nostalgic calm. Once my hunger started to catch up with my thoughts I went inside to heat up some day old chicken soup. I love Chicken soup thats a day old with the flavors all melded together, that's just fuckin' good. Eating/drinking the soup I warmed up again feeling nice and full. Then layed down for a nap, reminding me about the days of kindergarten when I was the only boy who wouldn't sleep. Waking up some time later to make some tea and go back out into the yard with its nice cool fog. Which brings me up to now, Fuck yeah.

Today was a good day. gp

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Tangerine Dreams

Today or I should write, yesterday and this morning I was talking with my one. I was eating some tangerines, five or so. That number was important for me to remember for some reason. Anyway, this girl would truly do anything to make me happy even if it made her feel a certain way, meaning not in a good way. Unknowingly letting things go by as if nothing happened until I ask whats wrong. The depth of love she shows for me is immeasurable. I thought I've been in love before when I believed I knew what it was. The feeling of real love or this love can't even compare, to what I thought love could be. I see now that it can't be measured because it's in fact limitless. I found this with YOU, I think....
No way I can feel more for you then I do now, then it's multiplied tenfold. Every time I reach my limits of loving YOU, I climb higher.... you said you would climb with me.
Hearing you fade-off into dreams I eat my last tangerine. gp

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Cognitive linguistics

Learning a language

I spent about an hour and thirty minutes learning a language. Now, I don't know how much one can learn or relearn a language in that amount of time but it really changes the way I think. What I mean by that is the way my brain processes information. Sometimes I just see new angles and other times I get mad brain farts. I really am starting to have fun with this.
This learning of a language tickling my brain, saying "Wake up, Wake up!"
Perspective is an interesting thing when you have the ability to change it at will. I can't wait until I can start thinking in a new language. This does mess around with my grammar skills. Small price to pay and well worth it. gp