Poverty

The positives and negatives growing up with nothing in a rich place like Santa Barbara. I've lived in S.B. my whole life and what a wonderful place to live at that. When I was a boy as far back as I can remember I grew up poor. I remember without exaggeration being hungry and sometimes being so cold I couldn't move my fingers and toes for part of the year. Thank god for the school lunch programs that helped feed me throughout parts of my childhood. The only toys I had were my imagination,sticks,rocks, found tennis balls, and the occasional yard sale toy. Clothing came when it came... in the way of hand me downs and thrift shops, not always but basically always. Payless shoes once a year always burned my feet from the sun heating up the asphalt. By the end of the year the soles of my shoes would be so thin I'd practically walk barefoot. My shoes made a tic-tac noise because of small pebbles stuck in the holes at the heal of my thinly warn out shoes. Rent in S.B. monthly is an arm and a leg which led my family to move from one shit-hole to another constantly and all within S.B. From an apartment to a garage and back again. Once my father and mums financial situation got sorted out that was the end of the poorest of times. When I got older I was able to travel to my fathers home town. Parts of the city looked just like S.B. and other parts look like a third world country. Seeing a half run over dog literally half flat in the creek dragging itself to a pool of dirty water in order to drink. A very old woman putting a metal-sheet home together. Kids earning money by washing windows,performing, and making handcrafts. I gave a small kid that seemed alone some food, he was so glad he started crying and eating his tear soaked sandwich. That shit made me wanna cry like a fuckin baby. It was so humbling and made me grateful again for the little I had growing up. Till this day I can't get that kids image out of my head nor do I want it gone.

I know growing up the way I did made me a better person, from my childhood to the trip to my Dads home town. It reminds me what real hardship is not just the simple dumb shit I'm going through right now. It shows me one can always be worse off, and no matter what... theres always people in worse pain then ones self. So chin up and buck up. Both the poor and rich mindset help me. The poor to show myself were I've been and were I don't wish to be. Keeping me modest,humble, and thankful. The rich mindset shows me what to strive for in order not to find myself in such sad places and never at the cost of the true importances of life.

Now enough of my bullshit rambling hahaha.......g.p.