Stuck in a loop, like a warn out record I keep playing my life over and over as best I can remember. I don't get anything out of it, I guess I just like to torture myself. I said to myself I wouldn't be absentminded, telling myself the truth I guess being absentminded helps me cope with stress. Stuck in mediocrity also helps me cope, that way things can't get better or worse then they already are. Its my brain trying to protect itself because all this is making life worse.
Stuck in a rut,depression,absentmindedness, pushing myself away from everyone and burning bridges....all this needs to end because in the end it hurts me and the people around me.
I'm a person of extremes, I would say this is a good quality to have but only if it pushes things in a positive direction. In my case it can go really far in both directions. I didn't see some things coming, those things hit me like a brick in the face. Fuck Me Right, all I can do is laugh right now So I can get Strength from this Desperation. gp
guess I needed to vent, its all good now. fart....
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-gp...
ReplyDeletei have to say that i'm in the same boat with you.
i have that same problem.
the only way i can get through it is through crazy positive randomness, and mental friends who push me to be better even though i wanna tell them to get the heck outta my face.
haha. but pushing yourself to be better will hopefully make you feel better. and your true friends will stick by you even though you're acting like a dingle-berry. those are the friends that'll give it to you straight and stick by you til the end of time.